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涂序新老师讣告点评ZZ

九月二十九日上午八时三十分，涂序新老师遗体告别仪式在杭州殡仪馆举行。参加告别仪式的有学院领导、学校相关部门、部分师生及涂老师亲属与同学，共100余人。(没啥问题，领导在前这是规矩)Mitbbs.com

涂序新老师于2009年9月17日凌晨2点因病不幸坠楼去世，终年32岁。(坠楼！！还是因病！大家经讨论认为，以后很多时候可以说：因病上吊、因病投河、因病被自杀、因病……这位讣告写手啊，因病和坠楼有因果关系吗？几乎是以暗含幽默的方式公布讣告？)Mitbbs.com

涂 序新老师1977年8月生于浙江金华，1995年9月——2001年6月就读于清华大学，2000年6月获水利水电工程专业学士学位，2001年6月获法 学学士学位。2001年9月——2007年6月就读于美国西北大学，分别于2004年和2007年获得岩土工程硕士和博士学位。其后在美国西北大学从事博 士后研究工作，2009年6月中旬回国到学院工作。(没啥问题，我老不骂人)Mitbbs.com

涂 序新老师为人真诚善良，对待同事细心周到，受到大家的尊重；对待学生，耐心解答疑问，多次深入新生宿舍与学生交流，受到学生的爱戴。涂序新老师学识渊博、 事业心强、治学严谨，对研究工作认真执着，精益求精。(他妈的，看到这里虽然说了点人话，但感觉怪怪的，尤其是什么“多次深入新生宿舍”)Mitbbs.com

借此机会，感谢学校各部门及学院师生的关心！(开始感谢了？要不要开始庆功？还有在讣告上感谢的？还“借此机会”？)Mitbbs.com

附涂序新博士来学院的主要经历Mitbbs.com

2009年1月，涂博士通过电子邮件与学院岩土所联系，申请教师岗位；Mitbbs.com

3 月24日，由学院提供往返国际机票和住宿条件，涂博士来学院面试；(看到没，“由学校提供往返国际机票和住宿条件”，看到没！还国际机票呢！逝者面试时还 喝了你们的水，要不要说出来？总之，浙大出钱了！浙大买单了！浙大牛逼了！这句话的前半句要是翻译成英文，在美国是会被人笑死的！)Mitbbs.com

4月21日，学院将《新进人员聘任通知书》发给涂博士，涂博士于次日通过电子邮件表示“本人愿意接受你们所提供的岗位和待遇”；(嗯，至于你们履行没履行，是另一个问题，这里不骂了，要不然太长了)Mitbbs.com

6月12日，涂博士与浙大签署聘用合同；Mitbbs.com

7 月28日，涂博士租住由浙大提供的位于玉泉校区求是村的教师公寓。公寓建筑面积57平方米(内含独立厨房、卫生间以及电视、冰箱、空调、微波炉、电磁炉、 床铺、桌椅等家具和电器设施)。此后，他相继参加了学院组织的留学归国人员座谈会、环境岩土工程国际学术研讨会筹备及会务工作，并担任了2009级本科新 生班主任；(极品段！极品段！我老拍案惊奇，我老佩服得高山滚鼓、前仰后合，我老看得老泪纵横、感激涕零……看到没，浙大提供了房子耶！57平方米呢！更 绝的是，里面还有很多很多设备，让诸位海归和海不归大开眼界：独立厨房的耶！不是筒子楼！还有卫生间呢——可惜没说独立卫生间；还有电视、冰箱、空调、微 波炉、电磁炉，多全啊，要是再有烤箱的话不活脱脱是个美国公寓？还有床铺和桌椅呢！妈的当海归是北朝鲜来的啊？Mitbbs.com

喘 口气，继续分析：在一个人的讣告上，会出现诸多电器和类似信息，单看这一段还以为转租房子呢！总之，浙大真好哇，提供这么多东西，海归这儿看来是谁也亏不 了，连微波炉都有了呢！就不用像我老当初那样，和人一起去沃尔玛花二三十美元去买了！——不过不知道是不是新的，因为没说——对于让海归用新微波炉，恐怕 讣告上也得加一条“电器和家具还都是新的呢！”写讣告的人，一看就是中专会计出身，算账列清单真麻利啊！某大学果然是藏龙卧虎之地，果然是高手不问出身， 在下服了！)Mitbbs.com

9月1日到8日期间，涂博士参加了学校在之江校区举行的新教师岗位集中培训；(没毛病)Mitbbs.com

9月8日，学校启动了下半年专业技术职务评审工作。9月11日，涂博士在学校“专业技术职务聘任系统”中填写了申报副教授的相关信息；(看到没，“填写了申报副教授的相关信息”，暗含的意思我不说了，反正我懒得去分析)Mitbbs.com

9月17日，涂博士于凌晨2点因病不幸坠楼去世。(大团圆！因病、坠楼！到此全文达到结局，此病极是了得，居然会让人坠楼，而且还不是失足坠楼！这样写，难道有些人、有些“第一流”大学不觉得无耻吗？)Mitbbs.com

(全文完。我无话可说，我只得出了一个结论，那就是，在中国即使像狗一样卑微，像猪一样肮脏，也得选择活着，否则你的讣告上会出现微波炉！)Mit

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