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让你更快乐的五个习惯

想想谈恋爱时的感觉:你感觉棒极了。你用全新的眼光看世界。你愿意接受任何挑战。你难道不喜欢永远处在这种状态吗?

我们曾经讨论过如何影响那些给你带来快乐的人,比如你的孩子或同侪。

本周,我想重点谈谈你本人。具体地说,就是看看有什么方法能让你把积极的想法融入到生活中,以便给自己的快乐带来切实的影响。为什么要这样做呢?原因是人在快乐的时候,各种各样的积极结果会随之而来。举例来讲,各种研究结果发现,人在快乐的时候,考试时临场发挥更好、卖东西卖得更多、免疫系统更强大、能更好地应对挑战,并且会给周围人的快乐感带来积极的影响。

哈佛大学毕业的积极思维心理学家、研究机构Aspirant首席执行长肖恩•阿克尔(Shawn Achor)说,让你体验爱情的眩晕感的化学物质──多巴胺和5-羟色胺,也能激活大脑的学习中心。阿克尔说,快乐而放松的大脑比处于压力之下的大脑有着更高的智力,保持积极的态度实际上可以帮助我们学习更多的东西。这进而会帮助我们更加成功,也更快乐。研究看来验证了这一点。上世纪30年代一项有名的研究中,科学家们对坚持写日记的修女进行了跟踪。那些在日记中使用更多积极词汇的修女比那些使用更多消极词汇的人活得要长。实际上,有90%持乐观态度的修女活到了85岁以上,其他人则只有34%。

心理学家巴巴拉•弗里德里克森(Barbara Frederickson)的研究发现,积极情绪使我们可以建立更多的智力和社交联系。如果你情绪积极,很可能会思维清晰、组织新信息和回忆起这些信息的速度更快,这样你会更快、更富创新性地进行思考。

试着在两分钟里列出美国50个州的名字,或是处理一下工作上的问题。如果你的情绪积极,很可能会更快、更准确地做完。在工作上,快乐的人往往表现更好、销售业绩更好、更轻松地应对挑战、避免出现工作倦怠,因此饭碗会更牢靠。阿克尔说,一项研究发现,那些有着更积极情绪的人在18个月后获得的老板评价也更好、工资会更高。

关于这项研究的一个好消息是,正如消极思维是可以后来学来的,积极的想法也可以。人的大脑是灵活的。所以,让我们看看一些你现在马上就可以进行的“快乐”练习,对你的大脑进行训练,希望这会让你走上快乐之路。

1.每天记下让自己感激的事
因为工作,健康或和美的家庭而心存感激?那么就表达出来。写下或大声说出你的感激,或许可以和你的伴侣一起做。感激的东西每天可以不同。研究发现,与对照组相比,那些每天坚持列感激清单的人不仅感觉生活更美好,运动地更多,身体上的不适也会更少。因此,在每天晚饭时或是上床睡觉前,说出三件值得感谢的事,可以大声说出来,也可以写在日记里。

2.写日记
写日记是灌输积极想法的一个很好的方式。阿克尔建议每周写下三次积极的经历。这只要几分钟时间,你可以随身带一个小记事本或者日记本。同时,阿克尔说一件事做上21天,它就会成为习惯。而写日记是提升魅力、吸引力和免疫系统最快的方式。这么说,只要三周你就能实现了!

3.保持身体健康
没错:锻炼身体。研究表明,仅仅锻炼就能将抑郁的复发率降低9%。我知道当我早上健身时,大脑里的那些负面因素真的减少了,我觉得更为乐观,做好准备迎接这一天。

4.冥想
当今世界,我们几乎都被鼓励要身兼数职、一心多用。但阿克尔证实了我一段时间以来所想的事情:一心多用就能更成功吗?我来告诉你,那些在工作中一心多用的人,比如一边查看电子邮件、一边打电话的人不仅效率低,而且公司损失的时间中有20%-40%是由此造成的。听到这个,你怎么想?让头脑冷静下来的一个更好的方法是每日进行冥想,也就是每天花些时间什么也不想,将自己的大脑从日常的纷扰中释放出来。就算每天只花5分钟专注于自己的呼吸上,这也会帮助你在没有进行冥想的时候一次只专注于一件事。

5.随时行善/分享
想一下上次你帮助别人过马路或是指导一个年轻人的情形。你感觉怎样?通过专注于其他人的感觉,你可以学会改变对自己的看法。一项为期六周的研究发现,每周做六件好事的人,即使小得微不足道,也会在一个多月之后仍自我感觉良好。

培养快乐的习惯
记住,创造快乐的关键是训练你的大脑。研究表明,这是可以做到的。要不要做,就要看你的了。首先,培养新的习惯,开始时可以是两、三个,这些习惯可以和其他习惯一样难以打破。习惯至少要坚持21天。如果你在每日坚持习惯上面临小小的障碍,那么动动脑筋。找找看有什么更加容易的方法可以让你开始新的习惯。比如,试着把你的日记放在床头,每天睡觉之前看到的最后一件东西就是它。在当今世界上,快乐可能看起来难以实现。不过,我们只要每天花15分钟来训练大脑,就能不但对生活有了更积极的看法,还会对我们生活中最重要的部分──工作、健康和我们所在意的人带来积极影响。

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